day139

Benny kept asking me to stop breathing his air last night. I tried to tell him it was ours to share but he insisted i was stealing his. That his was more important than mine because he could convert CO2 back into oxygen. I then blew smoke in his face and told him to make like a tree. How a forest began to grow in my apartment is beyond me. A few seeds and some spilled water turned into a jungle and now i struggle to see the forest for the trees. My perspective has changed so dramatically i start to wonder if i have become a tree myself. i check my feet for roots and hands for limbs and notice ive started to sprout leaves. I try to step back and lift my feet from the ground but im anchored. The jets. Ba-ba-ba-benny and the jets. Once my friend, i trusted him and he betrayed me. While i slept he grew slowly, knowing i wouldn't notice a inch at a time. Before i had time to stop him, it was too late. It is too late and i wonder if i have the strength to cut off one of my own limbs. Betrayed by my friend. If i had an ax id chop him down. If i had an axe id chop myself free. If i had an axel id be a car. If i had an axis id be round. And if i weren't a tree i wouldn't be stuck in the ground. Is it cannibalism to smoke weed?

Day 138

The angle of death came to visit me in my sleep and promised me three times. i fear i know what comes next. Its the fear known that i know now that will never change. I try to move but the waves are too strong. The floor is like a lake, water up to my neck. The kitchen is a blur of pots and pans and pot and pants and plots of plants and i really should have just ordered out. or in. or in and out. and over and under. I am down and out, like jonah...but he survived so then why can't eye. i go under water to look for my car keys but find only kelp and dirty cash floating around my underwater home afloat above the ground. Am i sinking? Am i floating? I can't kind find my way up and i can't find my way out. I realize i've been under water now for days. My hands have webbed but I still can't find my keys. I guess i won't go into work today, not like this, not as a fish. this is my water grave. buried at sea. noble.